Sure-fire cure for getting rid of crabs without the embarassment of going to the pharmacy. You will need the following items; razor, rubbing alcohol, matches/lighter and a heavy ballpean hammer.
First you simply shave half of your pubic hair. Then douse the remaining hair with the rubbing alcohol. Use the matches to light the alcohol on fire. Now when the remaining crabs come running out of the burning hair, SMASH them with the hammer!
P.S. In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 HMOs will NOT cover injuries incurred using the preceding "cure".
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