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Apr 1, 2005, 03:44 PM
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#1 |
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DriverHeaven Extreme Member
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never question a drunk
Why You Never Question a Drunk
>>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>A woman was shopping at her local supermarket >>>>where she selected: >>>> >>>>A half-gallon of 2% milk, >>>> >>>>A carton of eggs, >>>> >>>>A quart of orange juice, >>>> >>>>A head of romaine lettuce, >>>> >>>>A 2 lb. can of coffee, >>>> >>>>And a 1 lb. package of bacon. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>As she was unloading her items on the conveyor >>>>belt to check out, >>>> >>>>a drunk standing behind her watched as she >>>>placed the items in front of the cashier. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, >>>>the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>The woman was a bit startled by this >>>>proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, >>>>since >>>>she was indeed >>>>single. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>She looked at her six items on the belt and saw >>>>nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have >>>>tipped >>>>off >>>>the drunk to her marital status. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>Curiosity getting the better of her, she said >>>>"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth >>>>did >>>>you >>>>know that?" >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly" >>>> |
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Apr 1, 2005, 03:46 PM
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#2 |
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DH SuperMod
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good one. I remember that a while ago, damn fine joke.
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Apr 1, 2005, 03:46 PM
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#3 |
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DriverHeaven Extreme Member
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i know you have probably seen this or similar ones, bwth.
Woman's Dictionary * Yes = No. * No = Yes. * Maybe = No. * I'm sorry = You'll be sorry. * We need = I want. * It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now. * Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. * We need to talk = I need to complain. * Sure go ahead = I don't want you to. * I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron. * This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. * I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper. * I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. * Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. * How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate. * I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. * You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. * Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead. |
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Apr 1, 2005, 03:48 PM
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#4 |
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Demonic
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Apr 1, 2005, 03:49 PM
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#5 |
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DH SuperMod
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Thats great, the second is funny as hell.
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Apr 1, 2005, 03:56 PM
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#6 |
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DriverHeaven Extreme Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 9,501
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 the second one was great  |
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Apr 1, 2005, 05:59 PM
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#7 |
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Driverheaven brewmaster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,835
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Man that is so familiar...gotta love marriage
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Apr 1, 2005, 07:07 PM
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#8 |
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Everyones life has worth
Join Date: May 2003
Location: My Yellow Bug
Posts: 3,778
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They're both awesome. Props to you both!
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Apr 1, 2005, 07:14 PM
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#9 |
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Delete Me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,676
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"Be ready in a minute" is my favorite
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