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Oct 10, 2003, 12:37 AM
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#1
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DriverHeaven Granddaddy
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 12,341
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European English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby ENGLISH will be the official language of the European nation rather than GERMAN which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
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Oct 10, 2003, 12:55 AM
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#2
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Drivers? What Drivers???
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Puerto Rico
Posts: 1,612
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Oct 10, 2003, 01:20 AM
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#3
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DriverHeaven Senior Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Manchester England
Posts: 2,559
Rep Power: 0
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Oct 10, 2003, 01:37 AM
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#4
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Unbiased.
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,812
Rep Power: 0
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Oh my.
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Oct 10, 2003, 02:15 AM
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#5
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just keepin' it cool
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Finland
Posts: 228
Rep Power: 0
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About the millionth variation of this joke I've seen but still funny  |
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Oct 10, 2003, 07:25 AM
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#6
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DH's Dormant Dragon
Join Date: May 2002
Location: IN Rem-Dormancy
Posts: 24,210
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....it just got harder...and harder to figure it out...
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Oct 10, 2003, 07:33 AM
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#7
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Former Mobility Modman
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Belgium / Antwerp
Posts: 1,476
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ROFL!!, but actually still makes more sense than german to me hehe
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Oct 10, 2003, 07:56 AM
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#8
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gargouille
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
Posts: 962
Rep Power: 0
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Quote:
Originally posted by patje
ROFL!!, but actually still makes more sense than german to me hehe
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Oct 10, 2003, 07:59 AM
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#9
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Burned
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 29,782
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very funny !
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Oct 10, 2003, 11:03 PM
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#10
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E Pluribus Unum
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 3,203
Rep Power: 0
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It makes much more sense to make English the official language rather than German and French.
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