New Liquor Warning Labels

IslandGirl · Sep 10, 2003, 12:19 AM

Due to the increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturershave accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love
them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create ths illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and
better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you kan tipe reel goood.

When youre a Bartender everyone sends you every bar joke out there, but this one worth sharing.

Dom · Sep 10, 2003, 12:33 AM

Jeff · Sep 10, 2003, 12:36 AM

shortstuff · Sep 10, 2003, 12:49 AM

Judas · Sep 10, 2003, 12:53 AM

I've been drunk a few times.... never every experienced any of those symptoms....expeasially the bra and panties one......

BWX · Sep 10, 2003, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by IslandGirl
Due to the increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturershave accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love
them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create ths illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and
better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you kan tipe reel goood.

When youre a Bartender everyone sends you every bar joke out there, but this one worth sharing.

These warnings should actually be on alcoholic drinks, I would say they are pretty accurate.

Judas · Sep 10, 2003, 01:01 AM

For you, EVEN THE FIRST warning? how would.... no....sorry....don't want to know....

BWX · Sep 10, 2003, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Judas
For you, EVEN THE FIRST warning? how would.... no....sorry....don't want to know....

No, not for me!- I don't even drink anymore. But for everyone in general, both genders. It's all very true, funny, but true.

Judas · Sep 10, 2003, 01:16 AM

lol.......how do you drag out ......s....u.uuuuu......r..rrrrrr........e.e.e..e. e.....

**MIG-31** · Sep 10, 2003, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BWX232
These warnings should actually be on alcoholic drinks, I would say they are pretty accurate.

i would of said very accurate.

**MIG-31** · Sep 10, 2003, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by IslandGirl
Due to the increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturershave accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

**WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your bra and panties.**
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love
them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
**WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.**
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create ths illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and
better looking than most people.
**WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.**
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you kan tipe reel goood.

When youre a Bartender everyone sends you every bar joke out there, but this one worth sharing.

most of those apply to me.

with the exeption were i marked out with **

The_Neon_Cowboy · Sep 10, 2003, 01:31 AM

was funnier the first tme it was posted by wufong

Alcohol Warning.....

Jeff · Sep 10, 2003, 01:35 AM

too long ago, i didn't even remember it, therefore making the original posting null and void.

[size=10px](hey, where'd my bra go?!?!?!)[/size]

BWX · Sep 10, 2003, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by johnybravo
i would of said very accurate.

Unless you lived in the US where we use the word "pretty" as an adverb meaning:

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
[Buy it]

pretty

\Pret"ty\, adv. In some degree; moderately; considerably; rather; almost; -- [color=yellow]less emphatic than very[/color]; as, I am pretty sure of the fact; pretty cold weather.

BWX · Sep 10, 2003, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Judas
lol.......how do you drag out ......s....u.uuuuu......r..rrrrrr........e.e.e..e. e.....

huh? you saying I dress in drag now? LOL

toddsmack2k · Sep 10, 2003, 08:49 AM

Very funny stuff!!!!

The_Neon_Cowboy · Sep 14, 2003, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff
too long ago, i didn't even remember it, therefore making the original posting null and void.

[size=10px](hey, where'd my bra go?!?!?!)[/size]

Arg… But I remembered it clear as day...

Oh well life goes on lol....