men?

Logla · Jul 21, 2003, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by evergreen
Very good thread. I copied Kinetic's and eyeguy's posts--but I have to edit the cost on the shopping map. The time is right, but my wife is more practical and wouldn't spend that much money.

Men are not lazy! We just like to do other things than typical house-work, although, I do my own laundry and I even do dishes on occasion, my daughter says I'm the best at vacuuming (once a month) because I move everything, I take out the trash (about every other day) and scrub down the shower (once a month); as well, I take care of everything outside: mowing, maintaining the pool, beautifying the landscape, blah, blah, blah.

I totally agree. I wouldn't say I was lazy but my girlfriend would disagree. I want to use my free time to do the things I want to do. The main topic of argument in my house is I spend far too much time infront of the computer and not enough time doing housework, and I'm told I'm lazy because of this. However my girlfriend fails to see that while I'm upstairs killing things in BF1942, she is glued to the tv, vegitating, for at least 4 hours a night. I spend those precious few hours keeping my mind active.

tek · Jul 21, 2003, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by eyeguy616

Happens everytime my mom asks me to go with her to get something..... I have to remind her what it was she "needed" to get.

~eyeguy616

SO F***KING TRUE!!!!

Woman are a HUGE pain in the ass sometimes... wait a min, SOMETIMES? no I mean ALL OF the time (unless in bed

).

This might sound selfish or whatever, but I could give two sh**s about buying you 800 dollars worth of clothes, you give me pussy... I MIGHT buy you flowers and some chocolates, and whats with bf/gf the gf always bitching about you not calling her? THE BOYFRIEND HAS OTHER THINGS TO DO BESIDE CALL YOU AND BUY YOU CRAP all day.

Now one more thing... if a girlfriend is gonna screw things up between you and a best friend, then she should go jump off a bridge.
Thats my main rule.. if a girl is gonna try to seperate you and a friend because she doesnt like him... then fuck her, and say goodbye.

DONT MESS WITH MY FRIENDS.

Midnight, you are right on one thing.. men are lazy - def true.... but wait a min, who works every day and brings money/food home? WHO pays for the goddamned house, the cars... and that shit with women being smarter... thats pure crap, we dont need to hear that again.

Men are DEF. smarter, we make EVERYTHING you use.. even tampons!!! FFS, wow, I've had enough.. all that hate from the ex, stupid b**ch.

UberLord · Jul 21, 2003, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mac Daddy
Looks like you have some competition Uber ............ Watch your back

Why?

Is someone going to ... ARRGGGHHHHH GET THE (beep) OFF!!!

Rasta Monsta · Jul 21, 2003, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by UberLord
Now I know you're being delusional

Statistically men are more intelligent and women are more practical

This message brought to you by the UberLord museum of antiquated thinking.

rasta

**Spike** · Jul 21, 2003, 10:33 AM

Guess i am 1 that is not lazy. I get bored when i do nothing and hate that. There is nothing wrong with woman, you just need to learn them and understand them.

The_Neon_Cowboy · Jul 21, 2003, 10:46 AM

Reasons Sheep are Better Than Women

Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth

You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear

Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather

Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease

Nuttin' beats mutton

Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel

Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early

Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down

Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them

No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe

Sheep are never concerned about their reputation

Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up

Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the second time

Sheep never insist on eating out

You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of Mel Gibson

Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late

Sheep don't smell like tuna fish

Sheep don't get moody once a month

You can eat a lamb chop without getting wool stuck in your teeth

A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her life after one roll in the hay

A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed

A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon

A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car

A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains

A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay

A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup

A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy

A sheep won't care of you keep your fish bait in the refrigerator

A sheep won't get even with you by spending your paycheck on new clothes, one of which are see-through or meant to be worn in the bedroom

A sheep will never sue you for palimony

A sheep won't care if you screw her sister

A sheep won't care if your secretary is better looking than she is

A sheep will never tell you the ceiling needs to be painted while you're screwing

A sheep won't use you razor to shave its legs, or your pocketknife to open a paint can

Sheep never have a headache

A sheep won't give your favorite hunting shirt to Goodwill

A sheep won't leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom

A sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work and pick up a box of tampons

Sheep grow their own fur coats

A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the living room couch when you're having friends over to watch football

Sheep won't cheat on you with your best friend

A sheep will never ask if you'll still respect her in the morning

Sheep aren't into talking before or after sex

A sheep never yells at you for leaving the lid up

A sheep won't send you out for batteries for her vibrator

A sheep doesn't think it's demeaning or kinky to do it doggy style

A sheep won't mind if you put up mirrors in the bedroom

Sheep are "ram tough"

A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if you: send daisies instead of long-stemmed red roses, tip less than 20%, wear Levis with a hole in the seat, open beer bottles with your teeth

Sheep don't mind if you leave the lights on

Sheep don't mind doing it in the morning

Sheep don't mind doing it in a pickup truck

A sheep will never use the excuse that: she just did her nails, it's too hot, it's too cold, you'll wake the kids, you'll wake the neighbors, she's too drunk to enjoy it, she's not drunk enough to enjoy it

A sheep will never leave you for a cucumber

The_Neon_Cowboy · Jul 21, 2003, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by UberLord
That map's not right ..........

There's two shops she DIDN'T GO IN

yea is called the bathrooms lol

tek · Jul 21, 2003, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The_Neon_Cowboy
Reasons Sheep are Better Than Women

I love this, saved

BWX · Jul 21, 2003, 11:19 AM

That's just wrong. It's just wrong.

Al_Vampyre · Jul 21, 2003, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spike
Guess i am 1 that is not lazy. I get bored when i do nothing and hate that. There is nothing wrong with woman, you just need to learn them and understand them.

As Oscar Wilde said 'Women are meant to be loved not understood' - surest way to drive yourself into the madhouse is to try and understand a woman. Don't get me wrong I am crazy about my girlfriend and wouldn't swap her for anything but I don't try and understand her. I just try to be there for her when she needs me even if I don't see the problem...

evergreen · Jul 21, 2003, 02:14 PM

Good advice Al_Vampyre. God made woman for a reason. Men and women are different and that's how it's always going to be and that's how it should be. Find someone who attracts you more than just through physical means and commit to them.

10 reasons Women are better than sheep.

It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
Women look good in wool.
Women leave the room to fart.
Women know how to make popcorn.
Whipped cream doesn't taste good on mutton.
Sheep won't scratch your back.
Sheep won't drive you home if you're too drunk.
Sheep don't care who fondles them.
Sheep don't do threesomes.
You can't marry a rich sheep.

Dyre Straits · Jul 21, 2003, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by evergreen
......God made woman for a reason...

And only God knows why.

evergreen · Jul 21, 2003, 02:36 PM

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem."

"What’s the problem, Adam?" God replies.

"Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy."

"Why is that, Adam?" comes the reply from the heavens.

"Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."

"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a ‘woman’ for you."

"What’s a ‘woman,’ Lord?"

"This ‘woman’ will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you," replies the heavenly voice.

"Sounds great."

"She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam."

"How much will this ‘woman’ cost me Lord?" Adam replies.

"She’ll cost you a leg, an arm, an eye, an ear, and a testicle."

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam asks God, "Uh, what can I get for a rib?"

BWX · Jul 21, 2003, 02:48 PM

Here's a funny pic I stumbled on while looking for info on an old stereo receiver. I couldn't post the pic, so here's the link- Hope it works.

http://klip5.tripod.com/sa110.htm

~~Mac Daddy~~ · Jul 21, 2003, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by UberLord
Why?

Is someone going to ... ARRGGGHHHHH GET THE (beep) OFF!!!

Good Point

(for people becoming confused with the current dialogue .. its not your browser

)

BWX · Jul 21, 2003, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kinetic
Men's English:

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired" = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you." = Let's have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

That's funny, I just get to the point and say the things after the "=" - besides the ones I took out. I'm not kidding. It's worked pretty good so far.

That's what they really want to hear anyway. Or maybe by me saying that, I get the the girls who want to just hear it like it is. Like if she start's bitchin, I don't say "honey, what's wrong?". I say, "Shut the f*ck up and quit being a bitch" - Then she yells a little, I yell back- then she shut's the f*ck up and we forget about her being such a bitch.... until the next time. Perfect.

Shadow Lady · Jul 21, 2003, 11:58 PM

LOL, very nice and tru Midnight Blue ^^

Falstaff · Jul 22, 2003, 07:28 AM

MEN CAN STINK AND MEN CAN SWEAT.....

AND NEVER WIPE THEIR FEET...

AND NEVER ASK DIRECTIONS....

AND NEVER LIFT THE SEAT.....

Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men,men...

It's great to be on a ship with men and sail across the sea, oh,
We don't know where we'll land or when, but it's great to be with men.

'Cause men can sweat and men can stink and no one seems to care, oh,
We'll throw the dishes in the sink and clog the drain with hair, oh!
(And clog the drain with hair, oh!)

Men, men, men,
We're a ship all filled with men,
So batten down the ladies' room, there's no one here but men!

There's men above and men below and men down in the galley,
There's Butch and Spike and Buzz and Biff and one guy we call Sally!
(And one guy we call Sally!)

Men, men, men,
We're a ship all filled with men,
You'll never have to lift the seat, there's no one here but men!

We're men and friends until the end and none of us are sissies,
At night we sleep in seperate beds and blow each other kissies!
(And blow each other kissies!)

Men, men, men,
we're a ship all filled with men,
So throw your rubbers overboard, there's no one here but men!