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Old May 16, 2008, 12:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
Falstaff
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country
gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me...

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must First deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do
is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the lef t of the screen, you ca n clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal nedia white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the
other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
back; listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the
Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never crack...
.............Reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

BILL CL INTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
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Old May 16, 2008, 09:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
SFOSOK
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good
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Old May 16, 2008, 10:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
kris23
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my mind has imploded into itself after reading this.......
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Old May 17, 2008, 06:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
Al_Vampyre
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falstaff View Post
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
Relatively humorous!!!
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Old May 17, 2008, 07:54 AM   #5 (permalink)
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and i thought it was as simple as getting to the other side.
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Old May 17, 2008, 09:15 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Why'd the robot cross the road?

Cause it was carbon-bonded to the chicken....
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On the matter of communism, and it's front organizations should not obscure the issues. ~Adolf Hitler
Our enemy is a radical network of terrorist, and every government that supports them. ~George W. Bush
An evil excists that threatens every man, woman, and child, of this great nation. We must take steps to ensure our domestic security and protect our homeland. ~George W. Bush & Adolf Hitler
Look in the mirror occasionally, unless you reflect on what has occured in the past, scale those historical moments and forgotten moments to todays current situations, you are bound, in every inconceiveable and unwanted way, to repeat that which you may have swore to never do, and never support. We must awaken, and we must do so now and in mass. ~*pm me for whom*
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Old May 17, 2008, 10:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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That was actually pretty clever.
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Old May 17, 2008, 10:49 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Old May 17, 2008, 07:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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There's a chicken?
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Old May 19, 2008, 06:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Who is the chicken in this story? haha just joking. It must have taken you ages to come up with this !
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Muhahahahah!
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Old May 19, 2008, 08:38 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Think we're jumping the gun a little here tbh. Before you can ask or answer why the chicken crossed the road, you have to ask yourself which came first, the chicken or the egg? :P

Last edited by Reckless187; May 19, 2008 at 08:43 AM.
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Old May 20, 2008, 11:19 AM   #12 (permalink)
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the egg....
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On the matter of communism, and it's front organizations should not obscure the issues. ~Adolf Hitler
Our enemy is a radical network of terrorist, and every government that supports them. ~George W. Bush
An evil excists that threatens every man, woman, and child, of this great nation. We must take steps to ensure our domestic security and protect our homeland. ~George W. Bush & Adolf Hitler
Look in the mirror occasionally, unless you reflect on what has occured in the past, scale those historical moments and forgotten moments to todays current situations, you are bound, in every inconceiveable and unwanted way, to repeat that which you may have swore to never do, and never support. We must awaken, and we must do so now and in mass. ~*pm me for whom*
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