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Burnt toast

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Old Apr 25, 2003, 06:46 PM   #1
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exclamation Burnt toast
I know it's not the end of the world but I've just got in after a night out and tried to make myself some toast. The toast is black and I set off the smoke alarm. How do I appease my wife?
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 06:50 PM   #2
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Re: Burnt toast
Quote:
Originally posted by kinetic
I know it's not the end of the world but I've just got in after a night out and tried to make myself some toast. The toast is black and I set off the smoke alarm. How do I appease my wife?
Do you have a tounge?

works for me.....
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 06:54 PM   #3
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:)
Tell her you've called the fire brigade and they're sending out a fire crew to deal with it!!!




nme
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 06:56 PM   #4
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Re: :)
Quote:
Originally posted by URWORSTENEMY
Tell her you've called the fire brigade and they're sending out a fire crew to deal with it!!!




nme
I'm just scared that you knew where to get that picture.
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 06:59 PM   #5
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lol!!

i had a digi camera handy, and took a snap of the calendar above my bed


nme
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:03 PM   #6
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Well...................................Hmmm
do you know anything about motorcycle maintenance and Zen...

All is not lost...somehow.....someway....you will find your oasis and your peace.

You will find the light of a new morning, and somehow you will get the sourdough....

you will slice it...

in apppropriate sizes....yes deminsions your toaster can handle....and my friend...

you will find the correct temperature....I just know it....the toast will be made....

all of it....the timing....the butter.....the odor.....the bouquet of cooking...will fill your nostrils...

and when the moment is right....yes...oh yes....without hesitation. you will pump the handle on the toaster......the toast will fly upwards....into your grasp!

and then....

you will butter, you will butter like never before...smoothly, evenly, almost photo perfect in arrangment and style...and then...


you will place the toast there man...there before her....your toast...your plate...your butter...and your...

well I digress...

WITH PASSION AND EMOTION AND A SINCERE AND FOCUS DESIRE TO PLEASE HER EVERY WHIM....the toast will become more than toast.....and she will embrace you...

and perhaps......who knows...ha ha..
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:07 PM   #7
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Re: Well...................................Hmmm
Quote:
Originally posted by fallang_jeff
do you know anything about motorcycle maintenance and Zen...

All is not lost...somehow.....someway....you will find your oasis and your peace.

You will find the light of a new morning, and somehow you will get the sourdough....

you will slice it...

in apppropriate sizes....yes deminsions your toaster can handle....and my friend...

you will find the correct temperature....I just know it....the toast will be made....

all of it....the timing....the butter.....the odor.....the bouquet of cooking...will fill your nostrils...

and when the moment is right....yes...oh yes....without hesitation. you will pump the handle on the toaster......the toast will fly upwards....into your grasp!

and then....

you will butter, you will butter like never before...smoothly, evenly, almost photo perfect in arrangment and style...and then...


you will place the toast there man...there before her....your toast...your plate...your butter...and your...

well I digress...

WITH PASSION AND EMOTION AND A SINCERE AND FOCUS DESIRE TO PLEASE HER EVERY WHIM....the toast will become more than toast.....and she will embrace you...

and perhaps......who knows...ha ha..
Nice try Jeff! You have a vivid imagination!
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:11 PM   #8
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Re: Burnt toast
Originally posted by kinetic
I know it's not the end of the world but I've just got in after a night out and tried to make myself some toast. The toast is black and I set off the smoke alarm.

Why did you toast the toast in the first place? It's really icky toasted Only barbarians toast the toast.

How do I appease my wife?

You were always sleeping in sex ed, eh? Well, you could try to use that thing that is hanging between your legs Trust me, this really works!
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:16 PM   #9
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Re: Re: Burnt toast
Quote:
Originally posted by Asuka

Only barbarians toast the toast.
[/b]
Hey- wtf- only barbarians eat toast? Wtf is that supposed to mean?
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:16 PM   #10
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Imagination
The fulfillment of the visual, the dream, the desire to dream and the entire thrust of your ambition, will stimulate her, will appease her, will make her more compliant, perhaps to your subtle attempts at......making toast....ha ha
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:18 PM   #11
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Re: Re: Re: Burnt toast
Originally posted by BWX232
Hey- wtf- only barbarians eat toast? Wtf is that supposed to mean?

Nope, you got it totally wrong. Read what I wrote - only barbarians toast the toast!
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:52 PM   #12
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Waste of time
Perhaps the toast is a complete waste of time......
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Old Apr 25, 2003, 07:55 PM   #13
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Re: Waste of time
Originally posted by fallang_jeff
Perhaps the toast is a complete waste of time......

More concretely said, the toasting of the toast is a complete waste of time
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Old Apr 26, 2003, 12:49 AM   #14
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Perhaps there is no toast, but the reality of nonexistence...
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Old Apr 26, 2003, 02:04 AM   #15
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If it was me I would tell her to STFU-- I mean damn, it's only freeking TOAST!
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Old Apr 26, 2003, 04:12 AM   #16
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Re: Well...................................Hmmm
this brought a single tear to mine eye.

Quote:
Originally posted by fallang_jeff
do you know anything about motorcycle maintenance and Zen...

All is not lost...somehow.....someway....you will find your oasis and your peace.

You will find the light of a new morning, and somehow you will get the sourdough....

you will slice it...

in apppropriate sizes....yes deminsions your toaster can handle....and my friend...

you will find the correct temperature....I just know it....the toast will be made....

all of it....the timing....the butter.....the odor.....the bouquet of cooking...will fill your nostrils...

and when the moment is right....yes...oh yes....without hesitation. you will pump the handle on the toaster......the toast will fly upwards....into your grasp!

and then....

you will butter, you will butter like never before...smoothly, evenly, almost photo perfect in arrangment and style...and then...


you will place the toast there man...there before her....your toast...your plate...your butter...and your...

well I digress...

WITH PASSION AND EMOTION AND A SINCERE AND FOCUS DESIRE TO PLEASE HER EVERY WHIM....the toast will become more than toast.....and she will embrace you...

and perhaps......who knows...ha ha..
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Old Apr 26, 2003, 05:40 AM   #17
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Next time Mr Kinetic, forget the toast and try making some chips. Then when you burn

the house down by setting the pan on fire , at least she will have something to be

mad about lol

EDIT: That sig of urs Sinjin, makes me laugh every time I see it
Last edited by fornicatarachnid; Apr 26, 2003 at 08:20 PM.
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Old Apr 26, 2003, 11:43 AM   #18
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forget the toast
how do we get a sig like sinjin?
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Old Apr 26, 2003, 11:45 AM   #19
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Re: Re: Well...................................Hmmm
Quote:
Originally posted by sinjin
this brought a single tear to mine eye.
yeh pretty bad huh, hey is that Hunter Thompson in your avatar?
I think the whole toast thing has run its course, ha ha..

"I used to do motivational speechs"
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Old Apr 26, 2003, 05:23 PM   #20
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Re: Re: Re: Well...................................Hmmm
Quote:
Originally posted by fallang_jeff
yeh pretty bad huh, hey is that Hunter Thompson in your avatar?
I think the whole toast thing has run its course, ha ha..

"I used to do motivational speechs"
nah, those were tears of joy...and you are correct with the av.
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Old Apr 27, 2003, 05:59 AM   #21
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thanx
gonna see if my worstenemy can get a gif like yours, thanx again
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Old Apr 27, 2003, 06:02 AM   #22
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lol, that is the nerdiest thing I've ever seen


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Old Apr 28, 2003, 01:57 PM   #23
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Could u not just have dun wot any normal person would have.

Get a bag of chips or something
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Old Apr 28, 2003, 07:35 PM   #24
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Chips?
[COLOR=orange]Anything in a bag, dumped into a green tuperware bowl is just so limited in form and presentation. A game on T.V., comfort food on a budget, or perhaps even some oral gratification with texture and flavor, but nothing compared to the sensual buttery toasted and aromati