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Aug 30, 2007, 10:59 AM
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#1
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DriverHeaven Extreme Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: norcal
Posts: 5,963
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sexual urges...
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
> much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
> never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
>
> FOR EXAMPLE:
>
> One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
>
> Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel
> like it, I just want you to hold me.'
>
> I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
>
> So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
>
> 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
> to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
>
> She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who
> I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
>
> Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
>
> The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
> her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
> unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
> several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
> take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
> compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
>
> We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
> earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was
> one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
> she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
> tennis.lol
>
> I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was
> almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
> excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
> dear, let's go to the cashier.'
>
> I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel
> like it.'
>
> Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
> 'WHAT?'
>
> I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
> just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
> your shopping needs as a woman.'
>
> And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why
> can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
>
> Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
> knows I'm smarter than her.
>
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Aug 30, 2007, 11:01 AM
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#2
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DriverHeaven Extreme Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: norcal
Posts: 5,963
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not sure if he is 'smarter', not like he is getting any for awhile.. 
probably still worth it... 
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Aug 30, 2007, 11:35 AM
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#3
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Because I said so!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Watkins Glen NY
Posts: 542
Rep Power: 0
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I've seen that before lol. Nice one!
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Aug 30, 2007, 11:42 AM
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#4
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Frozen in Carbonite
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,407
Rep Power: 38
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That was good.  At first I didn't think it was a joke. 
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Aug 30, 2007, 11:56 AM
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#5
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DH's Dormant Dragon
Join Date: May 2002
Location: IN Rem-Dormancy
Posts: 24,555
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Genuine kick in the croch for her...
I know for a fact this has been done before  (similare)
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Aug 30, 2007, 11:58 AM
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#6
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Burned
Join Date: May 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 30,034
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calidan
That was good.  At first I didn't think it was a joke. 
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Its not, its a true story. Mike rocks.
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Aug 30, 2007, 12:33 PM
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#7
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DriverHeaven Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 848
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Sweet!
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Aug 30, 2007, 01:03 PM
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#8
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DH's Asteroids' Dominator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK and Hellas, mostly
Posts: 5,727
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I like it.
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Aug 30, 2007, 01:31 PM
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#9
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Me>You
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Da Hood
Posts: 507
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bitches aint shit but hos and tricks
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Aug 30, 2007, 02:04 PM
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#10
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Burned
Join Date: May 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 30,034
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sounds like the pimpsta hacked hornets account.
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Aug 30, 2007, 02:06 PM
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#11
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DH's Dormant Dragon
Join Date: May 2002
Location: IN Rem-Dormancy
Posts: 24,555
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rotfl.....
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Aug 30, 2007, 04:25 PM
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#12
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DriverHeaven Extreme Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: norcal
Posts: 5,963
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Quote:
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sounds like the pimpsta hacked hornets account.
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that or he has identity issues..
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Aug 30, 2007, 06:10 PM
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#13
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DriverHeaven Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Estonia
Posts: 883
Rep Power: 20
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Damn. Old, but I've never heard the English version of it. Still funny as hell 
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Aug 30, 2007, 10:12 PM
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#14
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Mr. Nobody
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: OmniPresent Nightwatcher
Posts: 5,933
Rep Power: 46

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Aug 31, 2007, 01:10 PM
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#15
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| n f e c t e D
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4,113
Rep Power: 41
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hahah good one 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zardon
sounds like the pimpsta hacked hornets account.
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l  seriously
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