[flibberjabber]

Hello guys, I have been a long time lurker, probably like many people, but I decided to join up today to ask for some people options. The DH off topic forum seems cool so I figuered what the hell.

When I was young my dad died and it has always been me and my mother and we are very close, always have been.

Anyway, me and my mom moved around a lot when I was a kid from house to house and state to state and we have always been pretty much inseperable, she was always a great person and never dated guys who would shout at me.

When I was 16 I met this great girl called Jules and we dated for a few years and I did a lot of growing up, but she moved away and we stayed in touch for a while, it hurt for quite some time, but she got another boyfriend. At this time I bought myself a little 125cc bike and had a good time on it, but I was involved in a car accident and lost my foot. The next few years were tough and I lost all self esteem and had no confidence as I had a false foot and I never wanted to get close to women. Its like me and a few mates would go out, but I would always just shy away if I thought a girl was interested cause I didn't want her to see I was a freak.

Im 20 now and my mom had this new boyfriend who wasnt really very nice and he hit her one night, and I got into a bit of a fight with him, im a pretty big guy so although I didn't win and it didn't go into a massive brawl, he backed off and stormed out.

This is where things get a bit messed up, I sat with my mom and we had a few beers and watched a movie, and started talking and we cuddled up and I guess we got a bit drunk. She put her hand on my lap and started to touch me, and I enjoyed it - I can't even remember how it all started. so we had sex on the sofa and it was great, but now I feel a bit weird and I told my mate who almost was sick.

Thing is, my mom is beautiful and we are really close, it was beautiful to make love to her, she really enjoyed it too and said how much she loved me, and how much I looked like my father when he was my age. It has gave me a lot of confidence, but now I feel really weird about it and my mate says I need locked up. What is worse is, I just found out that one of my ex girlfriends called the house a while ago, and my mom didn't tell me she had called. Since then we have made love quite a lot and I sleep with her now in her bed and I don't really care that this other girl hasnt called again.

What do you guys think I should do? my mate says I need to move out and avoid my mom for a while as she is obviously really messed up, but I love her?

[Vikingod]

Please tell me this is some kind of joke. What are you doing coming onto a tech support forum and asking advise on something like this? If this is true, I agree with your friend. You are both messed up. No way around it. Get some help.

[Maddogg6]

If going to a shrink is too horrific given the subject matter... look up 'transference' and 'mother-son enmeshment' - it may help explain why - what happened - happened.

If you at least understand it - you can face it and make corrections.
You can even get psychological help on line too.

And if your genuine in your post - you and your mom need it bad - ASAP.

If your looking for supportive arguments to continue - your not likely to get if from anyone - as there are compelling genetic reasons that explain why such sexual activity is a very bad thing.

[Vikingod]

It's also illegal to drink alcohol when you are under 21 years of age in the US.

[flibberjabber]

hey man im 20, I dont think getting some drinks when im a mature 20 year old is a big deal compared to the other shit in involved in atm. sorry if I have offended you guys, I didn't think it would be so hostile, im just looking for help as im a bit messed up right now.

I don't think I could leave home, cause i need her so much, and she needs me, but I know its "wrong" and everyone thinks its bad, but how can something so bad feel so good?

I mean what can I do? just leave her alone in the house, she might hurt herself.

[Judas]

Originally Posted by Vikingod

It's also illegal to drink alcohol when you are under 21 years of age in the US.

That really REALLY didn't need to be brought into this at all, i could care less if a 8 year old is drinking, if they want to and the parent is aware of it, whatever, Thier dicision. (i was 6 with my first beer)

Considering that this is off topic, and a whole lot of relationships and issues personal, or not, have been dicussed here, and to top if off, nothing was gone into detail that would make the post completely absurd, i'd say it's fairly significant. Some may consider this topic taboo, perhaps it is for alot of people here, perhaps it'll be removed/locked, i don't know.

Either way, flibber should definitely heed his mates suggestion, get some distance, as that kind of relation ship well, in a number of ways, just wrong imo. But frankly, people will do what they want, and i'm not going to try and stop them enless they start forcing the ideals or methods onto others that don't.

Flibber, it doesn't sound like your joking, you better not be , but do get some help, that won't be a healthy relationship at all, and nobody will come out very happy at all in the end either.

[Vikingod]

Originally Posted by flibberjabber

hey man im 20, I dont think getting some drinks when im a mature 20 year old is a big deal

Oh, you're mature. It's fine then.

[flibberjabber]

hey man, take it easy, im here for help, not a fight with a moderator and then to get banned, ive been on DH for years lurking in the background . im only asking for opinions and help. Im sure quite a lot of people had a drink under 21 but that's not what im talking about. if anyone has any ideas or help about what I should do please say, id rather not get lectured by mods though about having a drink.

[Vikingod]

Originally Posted by Judas

That really REALLY didn't need to be brought into this at all, i could care less if a 8 year old is drinking, if they want to and the parent is aware of it, whatever, Thier dicision. (i was 6 with my first beer)

I guess the sarcasm wasn't bleeding enough for you.

Obviously, I'm not buying the story. Its difficult to believe some poor one-footed sap, with a terrible Oedipus complex, and a dead father, is going to join a tech forum to tell a bunch of people he doesn't know about his sexual escapades with his overbearing, super-hot, mother. The whole thing is just a link away from a pay-per-view porn site.

If this is true, I appologize, but seriously man, if this is for real. You both need some serious help. Not the kind of help guys like us can fix, serious mental help. I wouldn't just worry about your mother, you have a few issues as well (its not like you are some kid who had no choice). Sign off the forums, get the phone book, and call a psychologist immediately. Urge your mother to get help and know you can't be around her anymore.

[Maddogg6]

but I know its "wrong" and everyone thinks its bad, but how can something so bad feel so good?

A quandary many drug/sex addicts face too - ask some one recovering from those situations about the negative long term effects of such 'good feelings' in short term.

Why is it bad?
Giving birth with limited genetic diversity greatly increases the likelihood for a number of diseases/conditions - most would say are 'horrible'.
And because theres no such thing as 100% effective birth control - You don't want to bare that kind of guilt of that sort of outcome either.
Im sure theres other psychological ramifications as well.

I mean what can I do? just leave her alone in the house, she might hurt herself.

You *could* have her committed for her own safety - but unless she wants the help they would provide - it likely wont stick.

So, you need to explain to her why it is wrong - and convince her to get and really want help.
'If you really love me mom - you will want to get help too'
As often in depression - caring more about others than one self is not un-common.

Sex, drugs etc.. .often become 'abused' in cases of depression as it sounds like in both of your cases.. and this is a clear cut case of 'sexual abuse' - just in a different form than what we hear about in the media.
How is it abuse - you are both abusing the vulnerabilities of each other for an easy escape for your problems - its not healthy on soo many levels.

'I don't care, it feels good' - is common mentality of those depressed, and the typical response is - 'in the short term - maybe so - but the long term effects are SOO MUCH more devastating than the immediate humiliation in seeking help'.

Then again - Im no licensed psychiatrist - but it doesn't take one to recognize when others need one.

[flibberjabber]

Thanks Judas, and Maddogg. and sorry if I annoyed you Vikingod, I seem to be annoying everyone lately

And no, im not making this up, the more I talk to the few people I have about it, the more evil and sick I feel. there must be something wrong with me I can't talk to people about it face to face so its easier to come to a place I trust and just talk about it and no one can see my face.

I know its wrong inside, I guess if I posted it here I must know deep down it is. but the hold I have with my mom is really intense, I can't describe it. I must have something really wrong with me. But she is so sad lately and need some affection, I guess this should never have happened.

I guess I should log off and get some professional help, but people will lock me up if I talk about this, or even worse lock up my mom and she has had such a hard life with everything

[Vikingod]

I appologize to you flibb, but the story is very difficult to digest (I honestly thought this was supposed to be some sort of joke, or some form of new spamming technique). It is my understanding that you won't be locked up (either of you), as there is doctor patient privilage, so you should get some help right away.

The major issue is this... What if you have children with her? That brings this into a whole other realm. My thoughts are with you.

[Judas]

Originally Posted by Vikingod

I guess the sarcasm wasn't bleeding enough for you.

Obviously, I'm not buying the story. Its difficult to believe some poor one-footed sap, with a terrible Oedipus complex, and a dead father, is going to join a tech forum to tell a bunch of people he doesn't know about his sexual escapades with his overbearing, super-hot, mother. The whole thing is just a link away from a pay-per-view porn site.

If this is true, I appologize, but seriously man, if this is for real. You both need some serious help. Not the kind of help guys like us can fix, serious mental help. I wouldn't just worry about your mother, you have a few issues as well (its not like you are some kid who had no choice). Sign off the forums, get the phone book, and call a psychologist immediately. Urge your mother to get help and know you can't be around her anymore.

Sorry considering the weight of the matter at hand, it's hard to NOT make a clear sign of either making a joke or considering it legit. If it was ment as a joke, sarcasm, sorry it wasn't quite clear enough for me .

I'll agree that it's a bit hard to beleive, not very often are we ever confronted with such, but it's not impossible at all either. usually if it were a joking matter, the orginal post wouldn't be written in the manner. And if it is all just a hoax, who cares, at least we are helping in any fashion we can, Considering that there's no way to really 100% for sure know it's all true, i'd feel pretty damn shitty if i thought it was all just a joke and it was indeed a seriously true matter and i blew off someone that actually was asking for help.

I mean you gotta have some pretty damn good will power to post something like that in the first place, most people wouldn't. And it's not uncommon for such people to try and get help from people they know nothing about let alone where they live or will most likely never meet, as it'll feel a little more secure and if they do get thrown out, it won't be as hard a hit as it would have been if the situation had risen in a public place in person.

[MrSpock2002]

/MrSpock quietly contacts Scotty to get beamed off..

[Judas]

Originally Posted by flibberjabber

Thanks Judas, and Maddogg. and sorry if I annoyed you Vikingod, I seem to be annoying everyone lately

And no, im not making this up, the more I talk to the few people I have about it, the more evil and sick I feel. there must be something wrong with me I can't talk to people about it face to face so its easier to come to a place I trust and just talk about it and no one can see my face.

I know its wrong inside, I guess if I posted it here I must know deep down it is. but the hold I have with my mom is really intense, I can't describe it. I must have something really wrong with me. But she is so sad lately and need some affection, I guess this should never have happened.

I guess I should log off and get some professional help, but people will lock me up if I talk about this, or even worse lock up my mom and she has had such a hard life with everything

Not to be taken the wrong way, but yes, something is wrong, definitely wrong, both of you. It should be treatable either way, and if you can try to find someone, specifically a preffesional psychiatrist, they shouldn't lock either of you 2 up, they may want to try and keep you appart for good measure with visiting times for awhile, but they should be willing to help out in any way they can. It a mental issue, a combination of a pile of different things have worked on both of your minds has definitely caused a problem. I'm fairly confident that todays help should be able to remedy it.

Considering this, speaking about this issue, getting some feedback (positive or negative) is your way up if you really want to solve it, think positively, if you do that you can solve the issue and start off again on a path that will be right for you and your mother.

[Maddogg6]

Being 'locked up' - is not the way 'self admission' should be viewed - btw.
edit / you won't get locked up anywhere unless you agree to it /edit

The locks on the door are for your safety - sure... but even more so - is for liability (killing your self when admitted would be the end of any psychiatry).

In the US - they can only hold you against your will (if self admitted) for 3 days IIRC.
And its not like you are forced into revealing why you are there to anyone BUT the doctors. Its not as bad as 'locked up' sounds.
Not to mention - others there also have their own issues and are prolly the last people on this planet to criticize others.

[Vikingod]

Just to add to what Maddogg said, I believe they can only incarcerate you (against your will) if in a mental health professional's opinion, you are a danger to yourself or others, which does not appear to apply to this case.

[Maddogg6]

Originally Posted by Vikingod

Just to add to what Maddogg said, I believe they can only incarcerate you (against your will) if in a mental health professional's opinion, you are a danger to yourself or others, which does not appear to apply to this case.

Thats right - the act of seeking help is actually proof against this... so... don't be affraid to ask for help and to be honest about it.

/edit But for your own peace of mind - start off by asking what their obligations are - what their policy is etc.. before you mention anything 'personal' /edit

[Randomletters]

lol @ this thread

[Geminiwave]

random...this isnt really funny.

if it is a joke, its not funny at all. very tacky.

if it is serious, its REALLY not funny, and this guy needs some serious help.

Look what you did was well...wrong. yes. but you understand this. What you need now is professional help. so somewhere you feel comfortable and talk to someone. If you're a religious person, talk to your religious leader (unless you're afraid of them banning you or something. Typically within the United States this will not happen, though it is possible. Even when i lived in the bible belt, people wanted more to fix you than to banish you) or a professional therapist or something. just GET HELP. start doing something proactive to get better.

[Randomletters]

Dunno Gemini guess we just have different sense's of humor. Because to me this thread in general is definately lol material.

A one footed man with low self esteem sleeping with his mother then asking a random computer tech forum for opinions is definately lol material.

Not only because it isnt true but the fact that some of you are offering a complete internet stranger advise on what he should do after his love fest with mommy