I'm had a very similar problem with my desktop and nVidia 6800 GT, to which I have a VGA and DVI monitors connected. Both monitors display BIOS startup and Windows XP but the DVI monitor goes blank on log in.
While I am still looking for a resolution to this issue (and thus found this post via Google), I did manage to get this strange workaround to get a display on the DVI monitor.
1. I go into display properties
2. I change the resolution of the DVI monitor to 800x600 -- at this point the DVI monitor displays again
3. Windows asks if I'm sure. I hit no, reverting the resolution back to 1280x1024, which the DVI monitor displays.
Edit: Updating my drivers to ForceWare 93.71 (November 2006) fixed the problem for me.
http://www.nvidia.com/object/winxp_2k_93.71.html