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May 19, 2007, 04:34 PM
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#1
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VETUS INFLATIO
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Red Lodge UK
Posts: 15,742
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They live again
whisper the names of the brave
in the mist and forests they are lost
beneath the fields within ancient graves
far from the rain and snow and frost
to rise again with shadows of the night
ghosts of the fallen live again
trapped between the eternal darkness and light
what once had ended now begins.
Souls of the damned suffer a thousand deaths
consumed and torn by immortal pain
Borne away on the night winds in quiet breaths
in heart of the night they live again.
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May 20, 2007, 10:52 AM
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#2
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I = Greatest Dood
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: PuNk
Posts: 5,854
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awesome, makes me want to walk in the graveyard at night.
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May 20, 2007, 12:37 PM
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#3
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VETUS INFLATIO
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Red Lodge UK
Posts: 15,742
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Nebraska is pretty spooky...lots of indian legends there...
remember the great white buffalo?
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May 20, 2007, 12:38 PM
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#4
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I = Greatest Dood
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: PuNk
Posts: 5,854
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Yes the buffalo follows me everywhere ever since I built a parking lot over an old indian burial site.
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May 20, 2007, 01:56 PM
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#5
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VETUS INFLATIO
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Red Lodge UK
Posts: 15,742
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now stop that...LOL
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May 20, 2007, 03:17 PM
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#6
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Tail Razer
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Bernyurass, AZ - USA
Posts: 3,723
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I have to say I like your 'darker side' better - that 'touchy feel-ee' stuff may work on the babes - and thats great... but its not my taste. 
(Having a gal recite poetry to me does nothing for me - why? - eh - I wrote a poem once - and I used it 100 times - I can assume the opposite to be possible - so I look for 'actions' more than words when determining if someone is 'right ' for me or not... I digress - back OT sorry)
But beyond 'subject matter' - I also prefer poetry that has a 'rhythm' to the 'rhymes' - think 'song lyrics with no music'. This one also fits better into that category compared to some of your others that I felt were interesting too, but seemed to be missing 'something'.
Then again - Im no 'Poem-Meister' either.... so... wtf do I know??
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May 20, 2007, 05:12 PM
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#7
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VETUS INFLATIO
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Red Lodge UK
Posts: 15,742
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I understand, it took me years to understand Haiku, to visualize, but that doesn't mean I really like Haiku that much, yes rhythm is important
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May 21, 2007, 06:42 AM
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#8
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I = Greatest Dood
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: PuNk
Posts: 5,854
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddogg6
I have to say I like your 'darker side' better - that 'touchy feel-ee' stuff may work on the babes - and thats great... but its not my taste. 
(Having a gal recite poetry to me does nothing for me - why? - eh - I wrote a poem once - and I used it 100 times - I can assume the opposite to be possible - so I look for 'actions' more than words when determining if someone is 'right ' for me or not... I digress - back OT sorry)
But beyond 'subject matter' - I also prefer poetry that has a 'rhythm' to the 'rhymes' - think 'song lyrics with no music'. This one also fits better into that category compared to some of your others that I felt were interesting too, but seemed to be missing 'something'.
Then again - Im no 'Poem-Meister' either.... so... wtf do I know??
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Well he isn't writing poetry for you haha :P unless you want him to
I do agree the darker side is refreshing.
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May 21, 2007, 09:01 AM
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#9
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Tail Razer
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Bernyurass, AZ - USA
Posts: 3,723
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GutterPunk
Well he isn't writing poetry for you haha :P unless you want him to
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hehe - I know - and would hope not  . I presumed posting is an invitation for constructive criticism... Im not able to do so (constructively) - I can only express my opinion/tastes... so I did...
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May 21, 2007, 10:22 AM
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#10
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VETUS INFLATIO
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Red Lodge UK
Posts: 15,742
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well you know...
if you want to see the devil in the flesh...just look in a mirror
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May 21, 2007, 12:30 PM
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#11
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Tail Razer
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Bernyurass, AZ - USA
Posts: 3,723
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falstaff
well you know...
if you want to see the devil in the flesh...just look in a mirror
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Handsome.... 
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