Are you a CS Llama?

Vampyromaniac · Mar 1, 2003, 11:48 PM

These are from http://members.shaw.ca/wpgclan/ , a site Naumo_JR linked to in another thread.

I agree w/ most of them

Man I hate people who complain about the map

Quote:

Signs that you're a Grade-A CS Llama:

1. You use the AWP.
This is also known as AWP-whoring.

2. You camp at spawn as a Terrorist on a bomb/defuse map
Extra high-quality llamaness if you hold the bomb.

3. You use leet speak.
i pwn3d j00 n00b!

4. You have keys binded to the 'say' command for the sole purpose of spamming.
Llama: Admin is a fag.
Llama: Admin is a fag.
Llama: Admin is a fag.

5. You have used the words r0x0rs or h4x0rs
See #3.

6. You purposely flashbang your teammates.
A-hole!

7. Repeatedly attacking teammates when Friendly Fire is off.
A-hole!

8. You complain when someone turns the lights off.
Buy night-vision goggles, or get the f- out of the area, loser.

9. You abuse the radio commands.
Llama(RADIO): Go go go!
Llama(RADIO): Go go go!
Llama(RADIO): Go go go!
Llama(RADIO): Go go go!

10. You abuse voice commands.
Nobody else wants to hear about your 'hot' neighbour, or the macarena 20 times in a row.

11. You advertise your pathetic website. We are not your target audience.
Llama: visit my site www.mystupidsite.com
Llama: it's very cool!

12. Buy scripts. Nobody gives a f- when you buy an AK.
unless I plan on following you and stealing it after you die.

13. Picking up chicks.
Llama: Where do you live?
12 year-old girl (On voice chat): You know I'm only 12 years old, right?
Llama: You sound hot

14. Stupid questions
Llama: Where can I get the latest wallhacks?

15. You actually use a wallhack or any other type of hack.
Get some talent you wanker.

16. You call yourself a hacker.
No you're not! You just downloaded a lame-ass script. Now scram kitty!

17. You're part of an 'exclusive' clan that MUST always be on the same team.
Way to unbalance the teams, losers.

18. You ALWAYS join the 'winning' team
Way to tackle a challenge. Let me guess,.... small penis???

19. You ask someone "Can I join your clan?"
If they say yes, congrats! You've just joined a clan with other llamas.

20. Admins that ban players that are better than them.
You are NOT the greatest player in the world. Get over it.

21. Deathmatchers = llamas
Go play UT or Q3.

22. Asking of Friendly Fire is on, everyone says yes, but you decide to 'test' just to make sure.
Then why ask???

23. You purposely kill/attack/run-over your teammates.
Losing is FUN! WEeeeee!

24. Bitching because someone 'stole your kill'.
Just be grateful that your teammate saved your sorry ass, bitch!

25. You cheat (ghosting, spiked models, anti-flash scripts...)
Ultimate Supreme King of Llamas. 'nuff said.

26. Complaining about a map.
Look, we all have maps we don't like. Even though you obviously have better taste than us, please don't bitch about the current map. There are 12,000+ other servers out there. There's gotta be one or two that are playing a different map.

27. Playing for stats.
If I see you run by those hostages one more time I'll kill you myself, lamer. See #21.

28. Name calling because the admin gagged/slapped/kicked/banned your friend from the server.
Guess who's next in line...

29. You purposely pin a teammate in a corner so they can't move.
The only exception to this rule is if you're pinning another llama. In which case the double-negative cancels itself out.

30. Bitching about how smoke 'lags' the server
No it doesn't. It just slows down your pathetic system. Stop playing CS for a while, get a job, then buy yourself a better system.

31. Running around with the flashlight turned on.
Do you know the flashlight turns you into a big glowing ball? It also makes you a better target. Turn it off bitch! If you can't see in dark areas, consult #8.

32. Foolish kamikaze tactics (running backwards, holding knife, while flashing your flashlight on and off, into a room full of enemies).
Oh look ma! No brain!

33. Shooting hostages or using them as shields.
Do you were a helmet when you leave the house?

34. You mention how much better Beta 7 was compared to the current version.
STFU! You started playing during version CS 1.1

35. Grenade spamming.
Think about this: Why are you only allowed to carry one at a time?

36. Going AFK for long stretches.
Disconnect from the game until you stop masturbating for a moment.

37. Grenading your own team-mates.
Look before you throw, moron.

38. Trash-talking.
At least try and fake being mature.

39. Camping.
Ya, that's it. I'll just hide in this corner until the clock runs out. All the dead spectators love to watch that. God damn coward.

40. Nanosecond-length attention span.
I just love being shot in the back while I'm planting the bomb because you got bored covering my back and wandered off to pad your stats.

41. Needlessly blaming your teammates when you die.
It's not my fault that you expected me to dodge to the left instead of the right. Calling me a "useless f-wit" over and over again doesn't change the fact that you're dead. I can't exactly read your mind, though judging by your attitude there's not much there to read.

42. Much ado about nothing.
Repeat after me: "It's a game. It's just a game." Get a f-ing grip.

43. Expecting everyone to be l337 like you.
Some of us have lives and girl/boyfriends. Excuse me for only playing this on weekends.

44. Blocking teammates in doorways.
I hope you get stabbed from behind.

45. Typing in caps.
STOP SHOUTINGS MORON!

NaumoJR · Mar 2, 2003, 12:06 AM

Someone had some time on their hands.

I didn't bother looking around the rest of that site.

-={420}=- · Mar 2, 2003, 12:29 AM

What's wrong with buy scripts?

www.mystupidsite.com is a real website

Vampyromaniac · Mar 2, 2003, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by -={420}=-
What's wrong with buy scripts?

They mean the ones where, when you buy a gun, you also announce to your team what you just bought.
(eg. bind X "mp5; sayteam I bought an mp5, aren't I cool???!?!?!")
That annoys me

-={420}=- · Mar 2, 2003, 02:17 AM

That's what I figured.