SFOSOK

Like always I don't know where to start so I'll just start from the begining.

Well my life was quite exciting when before I was even born. It turns out my mother had to run down 20-30 floors with me in her tummy (no she did not eat me) while the building she worked at caught on fire (now if you know me you can probably guess I'm the way I am because of smoke inhalation and my mother joggin down steps). Well after that I was born, and I looked like a little fat Indian. According to accounts by my relatives, though I weighed 11lbs (thats pretty fat) at birth I was the most cudly brown baby ever! So I was a baby for a while and I only remember one thing from when I was that young, I remember walking, then falling, then being upsidedown. So anyways after I was a baby for a while I decided, this kinda sucks and then the 90's hit. What I remeber from the 90's is it was very depressing (I hate you Coast 103.9!). I went to Christian school called New Hope, it was on walnut till about 1st grade. While it was nice and I made friends easily I have bad memories, like not being able to do a handstand. When I went to new hope all I remember is God and Jesus in just about every sentence they said. At this point I was goin to church avidly (and liking it somewhat). Also as I attended Christian school I was in Tae Quan Do (Hap DO sool Muthaf*ckas!) where I excelled in martial arts (I was like young mind you) and I was put in an advanced class because I could cartwheel (I will only do it for you if you beg, and then I still may not do it). I also attended Camp Bullfrog (hell) where I learned that drowning is not a fun thing and that if you can't tell the difference between the deep end and the shallow end then no one will help you. About at this time I attended a doctors check up where they proceeded to give me every single shot they thought I missed all at once. I (as well as them) learned that this was a bad idea. I soon turned very grey and got very sick. Also I remember I flew down the stairs one christmas eve and forgot to let go of the rail. I ended up knocking myself out because I hit this wooden thing that jutted out (+ the wall) and turned green, the fire department soon arrived and felt the need to laugh. About this time I started attending Oak Ridge Elementary School. This is where I learned to write so horribly. My 3rd grade teacher forced me to learn cursive and insisted that it was something I needed to do. Though this time period of school I was quite popular, made many friends, and learned how to play nationball (thats where u seperate people by nations and pick on the poor black kids). During my fun time here I started having symptoms of asthma (shhh don't tell the Army). I can say Iwa sat school probably 60% of the time as I guess this was a pretty bad thing I got and air is important. All I know was for one Halloween I was a Pirate because I jabbed my eyeball on the corner of a drawer by falling face first into it off of a bed post. For this I was rewarded with an eye patch. Also when I woke up in the hospital I was smiling. When my mother asked why I told her I saw jesus (though I don't remember it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside thinkin bout it). So anyway let me finish up elementary school, I was the best at Nationball (pegged Kevin Guppy in the head a lot), I was awsome at tackle football with no pads against 11th graders, and I thought I found the first girl I ever loved Brittany Van Voorhis, though I was too much of a wuss to ask her out. My best friends during this time were Keland Johnson and Sean Renden. As for the thing with Brittany, those two guys are the only ones who knew about it till now. All I know is I liked her up until she started goin out with Kevin Guppy (that cheap bastard) in like High School. So I graduated that place and was in a greek play where I was 5 different people (including making it funnier than hell, also I have the video tapes of it if any want to watch them here and I still have the outfit lol). During that time period I wore very neon and 90's apparel. Allright you can take a breather now, next is Junior High.



Ready? good. Well I attended Townsend Junior high for two years. I soon made friends with Andrew Huffman and Ryan Lockhart and the entire band team (was not in band). I hung out with them for a while until Ryan and Andrew decided they could not be my friends because I did not have blonde hair and blue eyes. I found out later this was a good thing because they eventually turned out to be gay. So I spent my Junior High as the wise ass, the person who knew more than you and wasn't afraid to stomp all over your dreams. At this point I had not had a girlfriend mind you and I was quite the loser. But the band team sure did idolize me and for some reason started calling my Hitler and Saluting me as I walked past (I hated everyone equally back then). My friends During this time were Michael Moon, Nathan (I tihnk its young), Marven Valdez, Herbert, Sean Fetsko, and any other white people who didn't fit in or had asthma. During this time period my asthma wasn't really that bad but I would fake like I was goin to die to my mom (but not enough to go to the doctor, learned that from Ferris Bular's Day off) and speant most of my time at home watching the Price is Right, Maury, Riki Lake and soap Operas because I did not want to go to school and deal with not having any real good friends. I in fact convinced some that I truelly did die, though I told them nothing, I was always greeted with a, "hey, didn't you almost die?". I had a very good Senile Teacher at this time named Mr. Lee. Mr. Lee....would bring guns to school and sniff his tobacco leaf, he also tried to get me to steal his wallet. I also had a memorable teacher names Mr. Bates who apparently completely lost his mind. And so ended Junior High, I would mention my family but they really didn't do anything. About this time I was sorely depressed (stll being the 90's) and was carrying the weight of my family on my back. It seemed after my mom got in a car accident everything went down hill (at least for her). I became the person in the family who cried for no reason and worried about everytihng so others didn't have to. Many a night I cried myself to sleep, and prayed to God, but he answered....eventually lol. At this time I was listening to Metallica and only Metallica. Um, other that that I think I was pretty cute back then along when I was in Elementary school (I was the cutest kid ever! Though slightly losing my mind). And next is the dreaded Highschool dun dun dun, hold on I need a piss break....(Humming Jepordy theme). O yeah I wasn't allowed to watch power Rangers, wut kinda crap is that man? Or the Simpsons.



Man that was good. Ok now where was I...hmm o yes High School. Well I could either sum it up with...Guh? or write out how I have changed. I think i'll write as sleep is for the weak. Freshman year, nobody talked to each other for the first couple months. We were all scared, and there was no upper class. I remember my first day I almost pissed myself, this was it High School, it can make or break you. Yeah I ended up in the wrong classes, but I was slick while doing it. For some reason someone thought I was intelligent and put me in all honors classes...I failed English because I didn't even know what an Essay was (thanks for nuthin townsend!). During this time I was still hanging out with my azn friends, but it would always be counterstrike this, counterstrike that. My Freshman year is when I met the friends I have now. We met in german class, for some reason everybody thought Ms. Daivs was hot and for some reason I felt she was always hitting on me (ewww). O the good times, we failled at learning german good. We even hada game plan each day so we didn't have to turn in Homework. One of us would distract her and take us off subject for the entire class period. As soon as the bell rang we were out of there. I remember Brenden Dean would always freak out and I tied a highlighter to my shoe and kicked Tim's Jacket while Ryan and Jon proceeded to draw pentegrams and Swastikas all over it. We used to sit on the tables (the first ones to do so). Also I remember frank punching some random azn in the face. I played Tennis Freshman year and refused to play football because I didn't havea ride to practice. Sophmore year I was quite active in sports and I believe I was quite awsome at Tennis. I started to flake out at school at this point and was kicked off the team, I bet if you search my name in google you will find the our old tennis site and some records for my games.Tennis was like Poetry. Anyways, during this time period I started listenin to a lot of metal and a table was Formed from the forge of Derrick, Ryan, Jon, and my hand creating a group that was outcast from all the rest of the clics. I think Sophmore year was pretty boring. I'm pretty sure some of the guys were taking bets that I wouldn't get laid till I was 23 but I can't prove it. German class was crazy though, because we learned nothing and would draw the most random things on a piece of paper. A lot of my teachers thought I was crazy, I always talked about killing things and sinster plans of world domination. Btw, still didn't have a girlfriend. Now Junior Year is when thing got all fucked up. I wasn't expecting my life to change so much cause I was smooth sailing under the radar. I think it deserves its own paragraph....

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