Ultra awesome windoze tweaks (power users only!)

reno

Okay, this works for all versions of windows...


Fast Startup: After pressing the power-on button, turn your monitor off...wait around 30-45 seconds and power your monitor back on...voila! Instant viewable boot times! (Unless you use XP, when your monitor comes on click your user account, then turn monitor off again...wait 5 sec. and turn back on!)


Fast Shutdown: After the thought flits through your mind to power down your machine, go around to the back of the computer and yank the big black cord out of your PSU.


More ram in XP: Open up task manager, go to running processes and end every process, you don't need any of em if all you want is MASSIVE amounts of free ram!

Faster disk performance: Start the install program for a game and go take a whiz, come back and look how fast your got from 0 to 30%!


That's all folks! Want any other good tweaks, just drop me a line!




[SIZE=x-small]please note this is just a joke, don't do any of this.[/size]

Kelsenellenelvian

Here is one of the best tweaks I've found so far:


If you want less aggravation while using your pc throw the fu(king thing out the window!!!


Also: Imacs make great hole filling material.

-CO-ReBooT

lol good tweaks ill try them out

-CO-ReBooT

Thats nice to know that imacs are good for something

Erroneus

Counter-strike tweak:

If flashed by one of your stupid teammates, turn your screen off!! There you go, no more flash for you. Oh yeah remember to have a quick hotkey, so you can flash your other teammates while doing this unique trick!!

Louie6666

you forgot to hold fire, & move mouse vigorously!

GOG

Yeah, there's nothing as refreshing like a good round of team killing/barrel jumping. Adds a new dimension to the game.

reno

Only one thing to say about counter strike, after beta 5, it sucked.

pRAyNz

If you`ve got error-messages in any Windows-Version - no problem at all because it only means your CPU is dirty and needs to be cleaned. To clean it you only need regular soap and much water apply those both components after adequate mixing on the surface of your running CPU (its the thing under the very loud fan-construction with an metalblock under it and wait some time...You know the CPU is ready for further prozessing if it`s at room-temperature and you can begin to remove the still existing dirt with a sharp knife. If you are ready with that you can safely resart you`re PC. If it won`t start maybe you should process the other components in the same way. If you still have this problem it has to beyour failure don`t blame me, this guide is perfekt. Well you could phone a pc-magazine and tell them of your problem and your trying to handle it - maybe they have further instructions...

DarkFoss

Hmm Here's the first tweak I found when I got my first comp.
Drag your IE Icon into your fileshredder and shred away ; reboot and whoila clean HD no windows no problems

Zarathustra

I still love the tweak that my parents always use:

If your virus scanner detects that you've been infected with a virus, just turn off your computer and it will be magically gone!

black_out

The best Tweak I know of for when you are having problems is to throw the f___ing system into one of the potholes on the streets in NewYork, cars will run over it, flatten it to paste and no more natsy pothole, make sure tweak-u-iiiiiiiiiiiiieeeee is installed first.

For I-macs, put them in the oven -- why? They look like a 1/2 of a loaf of unbaked bread--- so finish the job --- bake it! How long -- who cares? just as long as your fry the f___er.

The_Neon_Cowboy

BiGBrOwNPimpsta

should be moved to flame warzone LOL

black_out

I dunno, these could be pretty invaluable tweaks. . . .