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May 16, 2008, 12:32 PM
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#1
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VETUS INFLATIO
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Red Lodge UK
Posts: 15,980
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country
gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me...
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must First deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do
is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the lef t of the screen, you ca n clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal nedia white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the
other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
back; listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the
Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never crack...
.............Reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CL INTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
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May 16, 2008, 09:18 PM
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#2
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-DH Resident Uber Poster-
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Riverside, CA (right next to the f*ckin train)
Posts: 6,705
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good
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May 16, 2008, 10:27 PM
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#3
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DH's Youngest Mod
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 3,966
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my mind has imploded into itself after reading this.......
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May 17, 2008, 06:21 AM
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#4
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DriverHeaven Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,322
Rep Power: 39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falstaff
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
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Relatively humorous!!! |
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May 17, 2008, 07:54 AM
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#5
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DriverHeaven Extreme Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 4,473
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and i thought it was as simple as getting to the other side.  |
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May 17, 2008, 09:15 AM
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#6
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DH's Dormant Dragon
Join Date: May 2002
Location: IN Rem-Dormancy
Posts: 24,168
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Why'd the robot cross the road?
Cause it was carbon-bonded to the chicken....
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May 17, 2008, 10:41 AM
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#7
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Neighborhood screw up.
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: MI, US
Posts: 635
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That was actually pretty clever.
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May 17, 2008, 10:49 AM
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#8
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Driverheaven's Freerunner
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 3,692
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May 17, 2008, 07:57 PM
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#9
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DriverHeaven Lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ohio U.S.A.
Posts: 177
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There's a chicken?
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May 19, 2008, 06:59 AM
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#10
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DriverHeaven Addict
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: BOTSWANA
Posts: 327
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Who is the chicken in this story?  haha just joking. It must have taken you ages to come up with this !  |
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May 19, 2008, 08:38 AM
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#11
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DriverHeaven Addict
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 322
Rep Power: 0
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Think we're jumping the gun a little here tbh. Before you can ask or answer why the chicken crossed the road, you have to ask yourself which came first, the chicken or the egg? :P
Last edited by Reckless187; May 19, 2008 at 08:43 AM.
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May 20, 2008, 11:19 AM
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#12
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DH's Dormant Dragon
Join Date: May 2002
Location: IN Rem-Dormancy
Posts: 24,168
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the egg....
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